I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
