walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
