last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
