worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
