omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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