i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
