Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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