yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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