I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
