i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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