my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
