Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
