There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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