Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
