Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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