Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
