Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
