Your face is a jimmy john
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
