WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
