I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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