Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
