I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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