mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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