I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
