Can Purell be used as lube?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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