so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
