I want to have your abortion
I wish you could order shots online.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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