At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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