just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize