I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
