I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
