How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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