The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
