come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
