Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Nicole vs. Life
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
