butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
