It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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