xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
