where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
