The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
