Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
