in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
