Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
