I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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