so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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