I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
