i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
