While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
