And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
