yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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