What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
